Friday, June 24, 2005
i think i've an explaination for my behaviour.. not behaviour but rather attitude?
okay, this is my theory...

when i was young, i was a rather quite child, i didnt really like to talk much and all... i was really easy to bully... as in, verbally... so if someone scolded me, i would just accept it, i guess i just didnt want to cause any trouble.. but in recent years, i guess i just couldnt take it, i wasnt able to contain all the anger accumulated inside of me and i just lashed out... maybe thats why now im so short tempered?? im really very fussy and if nothing goes according to my liking, i'll be kinda upset? but nowadays, im trying to control my temper... i'll just keep quiet and if i can walk away, i will... but if i really cant take it, you better run ahhaha.. cos its not a friendly sight when i get angry haahaha....

okay, on to "nicer" things hahah... just finished reading "The Pearl"... its an excellent book... the author really captured the human aspect of it all.. for example, the jealousy and envy of everyone in the village when kino found the pearl.. BUT!!! no one showed it... everyone acted humble... they even tried to steal the pearl.. dont you think it's so similar to human behaviour?? for example, have you watched batman? what bruce wane said at his birthday party was so true, most of the people there were just there to get free booze (alcohol) and live off him (freeloaders! haha) why? because he's rich! he's filthy rich! most people will act like super friendly but behind the rich person's back, his heart is black, secretly, he wishes that he were in that rich guy;s shoes.... so thats why rich people arent all that happy... its difficult for a the rich man to find out who his real friends are... only when something happends and say he loses all his money, only then will he find out who his real friends are... all the other superficial ones will run away, never to be heard or seen of again... now back to the story, you can see how the 'evil' of the pearl started to engulf kino.. he was becoming so inhuman, almost like a beast... he wouldve have done what it took to protect ths pearl... same goes for a live example, when someone strikes it rich, he's becomes so self-centered, he becomes almost beast-like... then again, all this is just a generalization, im sure not everyone is like that... are you?